Shut your cake hole, sexist vitamins!

Thank you, One a Day Teen Advantage vitamins. You advertise the benefits of healthy muscles for him and healthy skin for her. Because men are strong, and women are pretty. Can you imagine what would happen if a teenage boy had healthy skin? Or -- Get this! Ha! -- if a teen girl had muscles? What a crazy world that would be! Thanks, One a Day Teen Advantage vitamins, for keeping the world safe for stereotypical gender norms!

Oh, One a Day Teen Advantage vitamins, how I loathe thee!

It's like the Sahara

Ugh. I've already failed on one resolution. My plants would be better off if I left them in the desert, I swear. This includes my husband's family's heirloom Christmas cactus from the Mother Country. Why they entrusted it to us, I'll never know. I keep hoping some long-lost last will and testament will be discovered and we'll learn that the cactus was supposed to go to Great Aunt Tilly with her green thumb and sunny verandas, not the Planticide household. Until then, it stays with us, since we were the ones who unofficially inherited it and we can't find any other family members who want to take on the responsibility. Believe me. We've tried.

Mid-year resolution

Be it so resolved: I'm going to update this baby a little more regularly. And since I didn't make this resolution in January, I'm calling it my mid-year resolution. Maybe this could become a regular thing. What else should I resolve to do? And do resolutions stick better in the hot summer months, with a relaxed schedule but the distractions of outdoor activities? Or do they work better in bitterly cold January, when all you want to do is stay inside in thick socks and a warm sweater?

So just for fun, I also resolve to water my plants before they start to droop and I can actually hear them croaking "waaaaaaater." And I resolve to add more classic literature to my To Be Read pile. I'm looking at you, 100 Years of Solitude. Oh, and I resolve to enjoy gossiping less. Notice, I'm not resolving TO gossip less. Just to tamp down my enjoyment of it. There's a difference.